Exactly one year ago today I lost my job. To be completely honest, I was fired. The reasoning for my firing was never fully articulated but I have my theories. I was angry, hurt, embarrassed and befuddled. Even though I didn’t think I deserved or did anything to warrant a dismissal in this way, I thought I would bounce back quickly. Internally I was confident that I would have employment within 6 months because I had new connections and I was more knowledgeable in my career field. I had several interviews and interest in my resume but nothing was sticking. But now it’s been a full year of me not having full-time employment.
It wasn’t until after my unemployment benefits ran out and taking a job making $11/hr doing physically hard work, that I began to feel an extreme sadness. My confidence was shaken and I was feeling really low about myself. Every day I was questioning God, why and how. Completely frustrated and emotionally drained I finally gave up. Well not so much gave up but I gave in and surrendered it all to God. It was evident to me that whatever path I was trying to forge for my myself was not aligned with God’s. This is the first time ever that I don’t have a career plan of action. I ain’t got a clue as to what the next step is. That’s why I surrendered my steps to Him. I have no other choice but to let Him order them.
It’s been a tough year but some important revelations have been made. I am stronger in spirit and body. And even though I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I stand confidently in the dark knowing that my Lord and Savior is with me. He knows the plan. So I will, I must, trust Him. God says He will supply all of my needs and I am certain He will send an opportunity my way soon. Until then, I will humbly wait in His love and perfect peace knowing that He will lead me with His right hand.
Isaiah 41:10-13 New International Version (NIV)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.