As Black women, we are all too familiar with the pain of rejection and dismal. As mentioned in the self-love blog post, we are constantly bombarded with messages and images that suggest we are undesirable, unlovable, and unwanted. The intersectionality of being Black and a woman means we face disappointment at every turn. While rejection may be a universal experience, we don’t have to let it stop us from pursuing our goals. In this blog post, we will explore three ways to handle rejection and keep moving forward toward achieving our objectives.
Believe In Your Worth
Dealing with rejection can be disheartening because we often equate rejection with a lack of worth and value. However, it’s important to remember that our worth is not determined by others’ opinions, perspectives, or thoughts about who we are.
The two biggest areas where we tend to question our worth are in our careers and in romantic relationships. This is because these are the two main metrics that we judge the success of our lives by. As a society, we often view those with fancy job titles and high salaries as more important, which can leave us feeling inadequate. We also tend to base our worth on whether or not someone desires a relationship with us, and when we face rejection, we begin to question our intelligence, attractiveness, and overall value.
But the truth is that our value can never be rooted in someone else’s perception of us. If we allow others to hold that power over us, we will never feel good enough. I am here to reaffirm that YOU ARE ENOUGH! We are born worthy, and nothing anyone can say or do can add or subtract from our inherent value. It’s our job to recognize and honor our worth, and not allow anyone to convince us otherwise.
Don’t Take It Personal
Knowing your own value and worth is crucial, as it prevents us from taking rejection personally. However, repeated rejection can have a severe impact on our mental health, leading to anxiety and depression. These are the times when we must double down on reaffirming our worth. Using affirmations to build self-love and resiliency is key to building a strong sense of self. A woman who truly knows her value understands that setbacks are temporary and that moving forward is the only acceptable direction.
Reframe
Every rejection, no matter how painful, can be reframed as protection or redirection. A shift in perspective can have a huge advantage in how quickly you are able to bounce back from rejection and move forward. As you already know my story, I spent two years without full-time employment, applied to hundreds of jobs, and went on several interviews. I had to quickly learn to shift my perspective on this area to maintain my mental health. Whenever I went for interviews and didn’t secure the job, I chose to think critically about the interview and assess if I could improve how I answered the questions and if I did my best. If I determined that I did my best, then I chose to believe that God was setting me up for something bigger and better. If I didn’t do my best, then I was able to glean the lessons that I needed to improve myself and apply them to the next interview. Instead of having a “what’s wrong with me?, what am I doing wrong” disposition, focus on what you can learn from the experience, ask yourself: Did it reveal areas where you can improve? Did it redirect you toward a more fulfilling path? These questions will allow you to embrace rejection as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Rejection sucks, but remember you are not alone and your journey is a powerful one. Rejection is just a chapter in your story, and it does not define your worth or potential. Embrace your resiliency and tenacity and keep moving forward.
